7 Ways To Deal With Gaslighting
“You are being too sensitive”, “You are being too dramatic”, “Are you sure you did it the right way?” Those are words of a person who is trying to gaslight you. When a person begins to make you doubt yourself, question your thoughts, intentions, actions and words; watch out, you are being gaslighted.
Gaslighting is an extremely manipulative behavior, it is psychological and emotional abuse. When a person twists your perception of reality for what they stand to gain, you are being gaslighted.
Gaslighters would place you in a state where you become confused or begin to think you are out of your wits. You’d question facts, your memory and feelings and even begin to judge your senses. Basically, they change the narrative right in front of you. This can spiral into a series of self-doubt, negative self-judgement, or get you to a point where you can react temperamentally or make a decision you wouldn’t ordinarily make and thus, play right into their mind games.
You could be gaslighted in almost any kind of relationship you find yourself, a platonic friendship, family, a romantic relationship or even in your work environment by bosses or co-staff. Gaslighting is a very major sign of a toxic relationship.
When you hear phrases like those below or take the actions listed, watch out for being gaslighted.
Why are you being defensive?
You are taking things too seriously.
You don’t know how to take a joke.
I was only kidding.
When you begin to apologize without knowing what you did wrong.
When you have to edit and over edit your words.
Or you feel ashamed when speaking.
All these among many other signs.
Asides narcissists or those who indulge in such for their own personal gain, many people who do such, may do it unconsciously without knowing how bad it is. It may seem like a statement that can be easily forgiven or looked over when said but the long term effect is disastrous. Once you recognize such, call it out immediately before it becomes a norm and then, begins to affect your self-esteem and self-worth.
7 Ways to Deal with Gaslighting.
Here are seven ways you can deal gaslighting:
When you realize this is going on, please correct it immediately. Do not give room for it to grow.
Constantly affirm yourself. As gaslighters seek to make the person they attack feel constantly low, it would go a long way to keep on speaking positively to yourself. Speaking building words about yourself.
Communicate with your partner or the person involved. Try to make them understand how you feel or how their approach comes off to you. For some, they may not understand how dangerous what they are doing is. However, remember you cannot negotiate with a narcissist.
Create boundaries and set limits. Make sure to prioritize your self-image and confidence. Try as much as possible to make sure words that trigger you or seem manipulative are removed from any conversation you’d be having.
Know when to walk away. If they are unwilling to change, please leave such a relationship. This is to avoid emotional meltdowns. Gaslighting is a very concerning form of emotional abuse. Those who do this tend to be extremely manipulative and would find ways to keep reassuring you while treating you shabbily. Prioritize your mental health. Gaslighters would find ways to keep you stuck in such toxic relationships.
Stop wishing for things to be different. If they really cared, they wouldn’t do such or continue with it even after being corrected.
Get help or a strong support system. Especially, if you’d want to get out of the relationship and need help to.
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